If you are in your mid 20's or approaching it or way past it but not 30 yet, then this will definitely catch your attention. Normally, or maybe when elders state this, supposedly, after graduating from college, you expect life to be in a good flow as how it was in your whole school life. They expect you to find a good job, if not good, at least a decent one which can meet your daily needs and would be a starter for your career goals, then after 2 or 3 years, if you are lucky to be in a smooth relationship, then maybe you should be planning your wedding by the age of 25 to 27 or maybe have started having your own family. But for single people, you have a lot of reasons of not falling into that situation. You may be so focused in your career, graduate studies/law/medicine or caught up in this quarter-life shiz. You may wonder why I use that slang term and not the dreadful word crisis, well because, I do not want you to see it as scary one. Trust me when I say that all the confusion and stress that revolve in your life at this age is normal. I remember reading and analysing this journal of Jeffrey Arnett, Emerging Adulthood, where he explains that in quarter-life crisis, we "go in a lot of directions, change jobs a lot, change love partners."
Simply put, this is the stage where we are trying to make our own choices in life and that is why it gets bumpy most of the time. Just imagine this situation of a lady who just finished college and has planned everything for her future. She would even have a timeline of when to get married, have a baby, buy house and lot, or even travel the world. But what if one circumstance will change it all? What would she do? Especially if this circumstance has a big impact in your life. What would you do? I am pretty sure it will take time before it will dawn on you and the changes will happen. You will start to change your preferences, outlook and perspectives in life. Worst case scenario, you will find yourself helpless which becomes a big problem then because you could not even stand up and make things right or put yourself in the right path. I know most people of my age has gone through this and just wonder what are they gonna do with their life? Lucky are those who has remained focus with their life objectives and everything seems to be in place for them. Really, you guys are blessed.
Given those things which sums up what quarter-life crisis is about. Here are some ways for you to overcome it and come out stronger:
1. Healing begins from AWARENESS AND ACCEPTANCE. If you are aware that something is wrong with you and you have accepted that you must fix or change things to make yourself better, then everything just follows. If you are in denial that you are fucking up already, then things will just get worse. But once you know that you have to change some things and get up for yourself, then you will start to find and do things to make yourself better and overcome your problems.
2. If you think you are alone in that dark tunnel, remind yourself that you're not. We may have different and unique experiences but it will still boil down to this same crisis. First thing you have to be aware is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are people who are going through the same thing with you or may have it worst.
3. SEEK HELP. Talk to your friends and you'll never know that they might go through the same thing. No body in the world can understand and make you feel better than having someone who feels the pain with you and I always believe that misery loves company but in a good way. Failed relationship, poor career, and loss are the common things that trigger quarter-life crisis. Some people would even end up having depression and anxieties. That should be taken seriously. If you think you are becoming not functional at all in terms of your daily activities and taking care of your self, then it is best to seek a professional help by consulting a psychologist or psychiatrist.
4. STAY POSITIVE. It is not the end of the world. You lost your job in the midst of recession and have been unemployed for more than 6 months now or you are in a burden of credit card debts, or the love of your life cheated on you. Or worst, all of these happened to you in one year, then it must be really painful. I know that but just have faith that as long as you are still breathing and wakes up every day, you have a reason to live. Always find the bright side in life. It is not as bad as you think it is. You just have to try to exist with a positive outlook and things will get better. It will be alright no matter how hard it seems and you'll eventually be on the right path. Just push yourself to be okay and do not let these bad things get you. You will even be grateful once you have faced the storms because it will just make you stronger and beautiful.
5. Lastly, just HAVE FAITH. There are times when you do not even know what to do after everything that happened to you. But always know that God is there for you no matter what. He is the only strength and power you need to keep going. He will not give up on you. Just keep on praying and that divine intervention will actually be the miracle that will lift you up.
Love and Peace.
Loca